On 10th September 2008, an epic adventure ended and another began. I landed in New Zealand, to start a new life.
In the month prior, my former girlfriend and I had travelled through ten countries. From London to Shanghai, by train. Stops included Brussels, Berlin, Warsaw, Irkutsk, Ulan-Ude, Ulaanbaatar and Beijing.
In 30 days, we traversed 30 per cent of the world's 40,000km circumference, 100 per cent by clickety-clack1. This near-12,000km rail journey easily eclipsed the miniscule 9,300km flight we then had to take from Shanghai to Auckland. It was a journey of epic proportions and one of many stories, which I’ll save for another day.
In the past, family farewells before a move Down Under would have happened portside, before boarding a massive ship. In modern times, they tend to happen at airports. I got the novel experience of hugging my family goodbye on a platform at St Pancras station. As I did, I knew two things: this move was forever; and I desperately hoped they would follow me. My siblings now have.
I can’t put down everything these 168 months in Aotearoa-NZ have meant to me. Of course, there’s been good and bad. But today, I feel like celebrating some of the things that first struck me, and have stuck with me ever since.
So, without further ado, here’s to:
14 years of Harvey Norman shouting at me on the telly;
14 years becoming accustomed to the world’s best beaches, so now they just look like beaches;
14 years of driving at 100, legally;
14 years using SPF 30, minimum, just to bring the bin in;
14 years since Who Wants To Be A Millionaire NZ;
14 years aware of Mike Hosking, former Who Wants To Be A Millionaire NZ host;
14 years mispronouncing Weet-Bix;
14 years thinking “the grass is always greener” in England;
14 years knowing the grass is absolutely not greener in England;
14 years knowing the grass in NZ is also better, lusher, softer than the grass in England;
14 years knowing what a Feltonmix® is and not understanding why this apparent child’s toy has such a power grip on the country’s bathrooms;
14 years and never been to Methven, but I can see they make better showers;
14 years of not even caring which way down the plughole the water spins;
14 years living near volcanos and acting like “yeah, this is totes normal”;
14 years hearing Wet & Forget-sponsored messages and thinking “how can I forget?”;
14 years of every curry coming with rice.
Thanks for having me, New Zealand! Here’s to the next 5113 days.
Not entirely true, since the final 30 kilometres were on the Shanghai maglev, which operates by contactless magnetic levitation and therefore can't make the famous clickety-clack sound of traditional rail. I recall the noise of the aged Russian trains more than made up for this.